Commentary on life in general

14 Jan

I am sitting here munching on a Clif bar, listening to the Glee soundtrack and thinking about how much I like my life right now.

I know that might sound kind of asshole-ish since there are who knows how many people suffering in Haiti and other places all over the world, but this is kind of a big deal for me. Being comfortable with myself and my life hasn’t really happened in, well, a long time.

I would like to say that the major switch changed all of it, but I would be lying. What the change did do, however, was make me think, “if I can be this happy from doing this, I wonder what would  happen if I started doing more things I wanted to do instead of just things I felt like I had to do.” I’ve barely been doing this for two weeks, but it’s amazing how much better I feel. These other changes weren’t even as big as changing my major, either. By simply surrounding myself with more positive people, not procrastinating schoolwork (I think I can attribute part of this to the major switch because I love what I’m doing now), going to classes at the gym, and not comparing myself to other people. The first and last ones have made the biggest difference, and one of them just happened to be a resolution. As a girl, it’s as if I am wired to constantly compare myself to other people. I would always be walking to class and see a girl wearing an outfit I would covet or perfect hair that would make me jealous to the point where I would literally stress over it. Silly things like that.

I think I’ve finally realized that I am 20 years old and if I don’t become my own person now, it’s never going to happen. So now, I’m wearing what I want, I’m doing what I want (within reason), I’m being who I want to be instead of wearing/doing/being what I think other people would like to see. For years and years I think I always knew that was the key to being happy, but I’ll be the first to admit that during a large part of my life, it was not easy, and it did not seem feasible to me. For many people this kind of thing is so much easier said than done, and I honestly do not think I was at a place where I could muster up the cojones to do that until very recently. I am so glad I finally did, though, because it’s incredibly refreshing. I know I’m not going to feel like this every day, because life just doesn’t work like that. Just the mere fact that I feel so much better overall is enough for me, though.

On a completely different note, tonight we had our winter informal bid day for my sorority. This time a year ago was when I first met Little, except at this point she was still just Mackenzie. It might sound kind of creepy, but I pretty much knew she would end up as my little. I don’t think she reads this, but I’m going to post the first picture we ever took together (on Bid Day last year), which also happens to be my favorite picture of us.

and now, a year later…

I hope this quarter we’ll be adding another member to the family…we’ll see!

Well, reading calls, even though my biology prof canceled class tomorrow and I get to venture home earlier than planned 🙂

I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes, which I think I might have posted on here before:

“Be content with what you have, rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”
– Lao Tzu

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